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Dude on OKC with the best pick up lines I have ever heard (via hate)

(Source: katamarang, via g-iggle)

Are you the SAT because I’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a 10 minute break halfway through for snacks, and then I can stare at you for like 10 minutes and think ‘wow, I hope I don’t ruin this.’
Notes
202757
Posted
1 month ago
warriorinthemaking:

lucas better keep his little mouth shut

warriorinthemaking:

lucas better keep his little mouth shut

(Source: lttlgrmln, via g-iggle)

Notes
500597
Posted
1 month ago

winxhesters:

potato-tots:

secretlifeofageekygirl:

hugstyles:

why couldn’t i be born with an older brother who is my best friend and has hot friends that flirt with me and drives me places like mcdonalds when im sad and punches rude boys in the face for me.

My brother once sat on me and farted until I passed out

my brother duct taped me to a treadmill and turned it to the highest setting once

when I was four my brother locked me in a ferret cage for an hour on Christmas Eve

(via orgasmic-humor)

Notes
577697
Posted
1 month ago

candidcatharsis:

so at work our store accidently ordered 700 khakis instead of the 70 we were supposed to get. the khakis in these pics i took ain’t even an eighth probably of all the fucking khakis we have stuffed in the back rooms. we have too many god damn khakis. no one should have to witness this layer of khaki hell. this shit ain’t right. this is all kinds of fucked up. there are too many fucking khakis. too many.

(via g-iggle)

Notes
157023
Posted
1 month ago

xtearsxofxbloodx:

If I tell you I’ve never smoked weed, will you give me free pot?

Notes
2
Posted
7 months ago

madman-in-a-blue-box-at-221b:

ernbarassing:

“Is it push or pull” I panic to myself as the doors come closer

panic! at the doorway

(Source: ernbarassing, via dean-winchester-has-been-shaved)

Notes
435500
Posted
7 months ago

clubpengwin:

Ashley you sarcastic little bitch

(via heyfunniest)

Notes
207954
Posted
7 months ago
nerdfightersinyourpants:

m0rethanyoubargainedf0r:

catdad:

If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.

I reblogged this at like 4am and I’ve spent the whole day thinking about it and randomly laughing

I showed this to my sister and she said, “talk about lowering your standards.”

nerdfightersinyourpants:

m0rethanyoubargainedf0r:

catdad:

If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.

I reblogged this at like 4am and I’ve spent the whole day thinking about it and randomly laughing

I showed this to my sister and she said, “talk about lowering your standards.”

(Source: 4gifs, via thepigwholived)

Notes
1175840
Posted
8 months ago

sandslashing:

"you wear that shirt a lot" yes because i own it

(Source: im-moving-yo, via ebaydotcom)

Notes
613999
Posted
8 months ago

theroads-so-far:

al-the-stuff-i-like:

tupacabra:

mom: i made cookies!!

me:

image

where do gifs like this even come from? the pits of hell?

why do i relate to that gif so much tho

(via orgasmic-humor)

Notes
246547
Posted
8 months ago

kia-kaha-winchesters:

just the girly things

  • forcing an earing through a closed piercing
  • taking off tight clothes and rubbing the indents they left on your skin 
  • human sacrifice
  • homemade face masks 

(via knight-of-blood)

Notes
448612
Posted
8 months ago

deathtasteslikechicken:

abs-gabs:

SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT

So if a teenager is at school for roughly 8 hours, and they are doing homework for 6+ hours, and they need AT LEAST 9 HOURS OF SLEEP FOR THEIR DEVELOPING BRAINS, then they may have 0-1 hours for other activities like eating, bathing, exercise, socializing (which is actually incredibly important for emotional, mental, and physical health, as well as the development of skills vital to their future career and having healthy romantic relationships among other things), religious activities, hobbies, extra curriculars, medical care of any kind, chores (also a skill/habit development thing and required by many parents), relaxation, and family time?  Not to mention that your parents may or may not pressure you to get a job, or you might need to get one for economic reasons.

(via therhinestonestothisstory)

Notes
1086663
Posted
8 months ago

multipack:

mom can i borrow $100,000 please i’ll give u it back when im rich and famous

(Source: perksofbeing-a-cauliflower, via best-of-text-posts)

Notes
594198
Posted
8 months ago
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